


I Wish You'd Remember Me

by Anemios



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2020-10-29 13:56:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20797721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anemios/pseuds/Anemios
Summary: When Shizuo Heiwajima loses his memory, his friends and family try their best to help him remember, but nothing works. After months of trying, Shizuo turns to his last hope in search of answers.





	I Wish You'd Remember Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It smells like antiseptic.
> 
> He never liked the smell of it, but he can't seem to remember why.

Shizuo Heiwajima had questions.

It all started a few months ago when the blonde had woken up to the sound of a heart monitor and the smell of antiseptic.

He was told he'd gotten in a horrible car accident. He wasn't looking where he was going and got hit head-on by an eighteen-wheeler. Apparently that wasn't what had put in in the hospital, though. What had happened was the impact sent him flying into a nearby building, putting him in a coma for about a week with a broken arm, a few fractured ribs, and a serious concussion. They had also mentioned something else about his brain with words too big and complicated for Shizuo to understand, but they didn't address it much after that, save for a few times he could hear the doctors mumbling to each other when they thought he was out of ear-shot. Regardless, the doctors were baffled that he had survived, calling it a miracle.

The ex-bartender could beg to differ. His body ached in every conceivable place and his head throbbed, only lowering to a dull buzzing noise in his ears when they injected him with painkiller. The needles weren't pleasant and the food they served was hardly anything Shizuo could call 'food'. It was edible, sure, but it was bland as paper.

He'd complained about it to the nurse once while she was refilling his IV drip. He didn't miss how she flinched, promising she'd ask the hospital cafeteria to prepare something better next time, then hastily finished what she was doing and practically scrambled out of the room. Needless to say, she didn't come to his room after that.

The next day or so passed by rather uneventfully until one morning while he was flicking through the channels on the small TV attached to the wall, the door to his room was slammed open, making Shizuo jolt. A man in a lab coat and a woman with a yellow motorcycle helmet barged into the room, rushing to his side at the edge of his bed.

The woman pulled a PDA out from her sleeve, hastily typing up a message before shoving it in Shizuo's face.

'Shizuo, are you OK?! We heard you got in a car accident, but we didn't believe it at first! We're so sorry for not visiting sooner!'

He read the text on the screen, it's brightness providing no comfort to his headache.

"You had Celty and I worried sick! I mean, I was confident you'd have gotten up and shrugged it off like it was nothing, what with your superhuman strength and all! But oh, you should have seen my dear Celty worry and fret over you! How selfless of her, although I admit I got a bit jealous! Celty, would you worry over me too if I got hit by a truck?"

The doctor gushed, much to the annoyance of the biker woman.

"Uh... That's great and all, but..."

Shizuo started,

"...Who are you?"

* * *

Amnesia. He had amnesia.

He felt stupid to not have noticed it sooner, how not once did he think about anyone who'd worry about him or about any work he might be missing. Hell, he hadn't even thought about the accident that caused him to wind up in the hospital in the first place! The doctors had explained to him what happened, but they'd clearly left out some important details... Part of him was angry at the doctors for not telling him he had fucking **memory loss**, but the other part of him was angry at himself for not noticing the signs sooner. The nurse from earlier being afraid of him and the doctors not telling him about his amnesia started to raise some red flags for Shizuo.

When he asked them that question, he could see their faces visibly pale. Well, the male in the lab coat, anyway. He couldn't actually see anything through the black visor of the woman in the biker helmet, but the way her shoulders tensed told him enough.

They thought he was joking at first. The man laughed, obviously forced and full of uncertainty. The quietness that followed assured every member in the room that he was very much not joking. The woman had to leave the room, the man just stood there, frozen in shock.

Shizuo wasn't sure if what he was feeling was guilt or shame. These people knew him, and he supposedly knew them too. Or, at least, he _used to _know them...

The weeks that followed were miserable of not downright torturous. The same couple returned frequently, as well as several other people who's faces he couldn't recognize. From the somber looks on their faces, the doctor and the biker had probably already told them about his situation. It felt like a funeral to see them gaze at him as if he were dying. With the guilt he felt each time they gave him that same sympathetic look, sometimes he wished he really _was_ dying.

He had to learn who they all were. They all went around and introduced themselves... Well, _re-introduced_ themselves, really... He'd learned the doctor was Shinra Kishitani and the biker was Celty Sturluson. The debt collector who visited him a few days after Shinra and Celty had shown up was Tom Tanaka, his work partner. Other people came to visit him too, but their faces and names became a blur. It was painful to learn they were all his friends; people Shizuo shared a connection with and cared about, but could no longer even recognize. He felt horrible knowing he'd forgotten them, forgotten who they were and what they all meant to him. Being told it 'wasn't his fault' didn't help him feel much better, even if it was true.

It hurt the most when a small male with a blank expression visited him, who he learned was his brother. He found it hard to believe that someone who looked so vastly different from him was his brother, but he felt vaguely familiar. Clouded memories flooded his mind, so close yet so distant. It was almost as if they were being dangled over him; just out of reach no matter how hard he attempted to grab them. Kasuka had told him it wasn't his fault, just like how everyone else told him it wasn't his fault. The words slowly lost their meaning when he heard them at least twice a week.

Still, he gave Kasuka a forced smile and assured him he'd be fine. The younger sibling saw through his fib with ease, telling him not to worry. Kasuka told Shizuo stories of how he'd always end up in the hospital with broken bones when he was a kid, and told him he'd bounce back from this like he always did before. Shizuo felt a little better, but he wasn't so sure if he'd bounce back.

After all, memory loss isn't the same thing as a few broken bones.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!
> 
> So, this was my first time trying to writing a fanfic in... Years, actually (Yeesh). Sorry if it was a little rough around the edges.
> 
> This was actually supposed to be a oneshot, but I'll probably expand this into 2 or 3 chapters if I can.


End file.
